"Is That a Frog?"

So what does a bunch of 30 something Delaware Mom's who swore off the high maintenance, often catty nature of most other women, have in common?

Apparently each other!

I have lived 10 years of married life keeping in sporadic contact with friends whom I have known and loved forever! Yet I felt no need to make new friends. As a matter of fact if the subject was even brought up I might have become a bit defensive. I had all that I needed...A husband I loved and was busy trying to make our life better. I had the constant ebb and flow of raising a young family. An extended family network which I can always count on to listen and understand my life with a unique perspective on my personality and its beautiful flaws. I had many lifelong friends just a phone call away if I ever needed them. These were friends who had lived with me through the good, bad and ugly of life. They knew, accepted, and loved me for me no matter what. So again...What did I need new friends for? Just because they lived in close proximity to me...I was fine the way that I was...I didn't need anymore friends...I don't really like people (especially girls) and it takes me years to get to know someone enough to really call them a friend.

So with all that being said I continued to live my life over the past 10 years. Going to church and work...being a friendly person but never feeling the desire to put forth the effort that it would take to make and keep "real" friendships. I had many "friends" but the majority were the ones which come and go with little afterthought.

About two years ago, I meet another friend which I believed would be just like all the others. Little did I know that our lives passed for a reason. I was there to help her heal and it would soon become apparent that she was there to help me live through the roller coaster of pain and triumph my life was about to embark upon. She knows me...I know her...the good the bad and the REALLY ugly! We have spent many hours laughing and crying about a plethora of topics.

It is funny how life sometimes scars. Your defences automatically, subconsciously go up and sometimes, sadly, that which can help you heal is exactly the thing which you so obsessively push out of your life.

Without this one girlfriend to help me restore my faith in other people...to help me restore my faith in myself I would not have been ready to receive the gift of a group of girl friends. The fact is that no matter how ugly the story may actually be at points....that is just the way life is and we are all still worthy of moving on and being unconditionally loved . Even accepted by catty, judgemental women...because even though we as women may sometimes be catty and judgemental we may also be understanding, compassionate and full of love.

So I have made a conscious decision to accept and befriend a few special women. All willing to share their scars and to help each other heal.

It is fun to have other women to hang out with! I actually felt like a teenager last night as we went out. Maybe that is because that was the last time I hung out with 5 other women until 1:30am.

We went out to dinner and then to one of the girls home who literally lives in the depths of the woods. I am pretty sure that it was more "woodsy" than where I grew up spending girls camp. We trudged through the swampy dark woods, past the bullfrog lake, to the fire pit where we made a campfire to roast marshmallows to make Reese's Peanut butter cup Smores (Yummy!) It was darker than dark out there and the stars were brilliant and there were screams of fright.

The majority of us were in flip flops...but in our defence the "camping trip" was not preplanned. We were girls having fun with other girls. Sharing our "real" personalities our "real" stories and not those which just made us look good in the eyes of others. We were there looking for understanding, unconditional love....we were there looking for friendship and I believe that we are beginning to find it!

It is something I never thought that I needed....something I never missed...yet through grace I was given that which I didn't even know that I was in need of. The progression of these relationships are natural so much so that it often scares me and I must talk myself into continuing to progress instead of hiding. I refuse to hide again... because as my dear friends Blog so unbelievably pointed out there are things that love can heal and I do believe that it is doing its job.

Thanks for the giggles girls!