What's on my mind

Does Heavenly Father, at times, give you more than the normal amount of opportunities to serve during the midst of some of the greatest trials? As many of you are aware, we have had our share of trials over the past year and a half. It, to me, can best be described as a parade. The minute we seem to catch our breath...here comes the next one. I am not complaining because it is also true that some of our greatest blessings and growth as individuals have also come during this time. I am just mentally taking note that our family is again staring down the barrel of another trial. This is usually the time when I become very "family" minded, doing all that I can do to ensure the most damage control possible. This time I am feeling, though overwhelmed, a huge push to serve in some very specific, very outside of Chris's box kind of ways. Quite frankly, I wish to return to business as usual and start the normal processes (becoming a recluse to all but my family). But is it possible that Heavenly Father is telling me to serve others and He will take care of us? I guess I just answered my own question. Though to all that care...I don't like this plan! Being outside of my box is never a comfortable place to be. I guess I will have faith and put myself out there.

The Primary song "When were helping were happy and we sing as we go..." just came to mind. IT'S ALL A LIE MINUS THE SINGING PART APPARENTLY :)

A Whole Bunch of Love

Cy and Zion on their first day @ church last week (above). I had to beat off the people (aka, germs) with sticks. People have no idea how I cringe every time they come close to their faces. They are getting so big. They suck each others fingers, hold hands, and sleep nose to nose. It is so cute. Cy's double chin and cheeks just continue to get bigger and bigger which only makes her cuter to me and her Dad! Dad loves the cheeks especially! Zion seems to be laid back and soulful. Its almost as if he is looking through you. (You can see from below)

Phoenix and Stone on the first day of school. Last week, Phoenix came home asking to join running club at school. I must say my nightmares from Jr High School all came flooding back as I began to break out into a cold sweat, but realizing this isn't all about me I agreed to sign her up. We asked Stone if he would like to join as well and he said he would. It is once a week immediately after school. I had a parent teacher conference at the school on the same day, so I was able to sit in the car and watch the running club. They divided the grades and so Stone and Phoenix are both doing something different. I first saw Stone who was running around some made up course (over the river and through the woods...almost) he was looking like a beat dog. I felt a bit Mommish for him as I watched him run and knew how hot it must have been outside my air conditioned car :) I then turned my attention to Phoenix as she came around the corner of the building. She was talking, giggling, and walking. Had I not signed her up for running club I would have believed she was in some kind of social club. Her and her little friend Joey (which she does everything with at school) were having a blast. They would run about 10 steps every so many minutes and then back to the party. When they finished, Stone greeted me with a "I want to quit. They made me run!" On the contrary Phoenix said " I had so much fun. I wish it was everyday" I smiled my "I know why grin" and suggested that Stone may want to find a friend to run with as it seemed to be working with Phoenix and besides I will not allow my $ to go to waste. (I told him that he couldn't quit because of commitment and teamwork...blah...blah....blah)

Avery is stuck at home with her sleepy, grumpy, busy Mommy. You can see in the picture she is desperate to get on the bus with the other kids. She is becoming an expert at fetching two diapers, finding binkies, staying on the couch watching TV while Mommy takes a nap, picking up dirty clothes, helping to make dinner and other such domestic Goddess duties. She seems to enjoy it yet I must admit most times I feel guilty she has few and far between chances to go to the park, ride her bike, play with playdough, and other such fun activities the older two were able to do. On really special days she gets to play in the tub while I clean the bathrooms and if she is REALLY lucky I will get in and play with her but again few and far between. I wonder if she has any idea how short her end of the stick actually is. Today I made up a picnic on my bedroom carpet so I could actually take a longer nap. She spread out a beautifully lined up blanket and we ate popcorn, cheese sticks, peanut butter sandwiches and grapes. We then climbed back into bed for the third hour of TV/Naptime. I know...horrible, but reality at this point!

Buffest Mom on the Block

Apparently I must have swallowed a stupid pill @ some point today, but I decided in addition to the two doctors appointments which I had (one for Stone and the other for Zion and Cy) that I would try and take on the world all in one day. Please be reminded that this would be my first trip out with the twins alone. On a side note...after 5 weeks in the Hospital, the weeks of recovery/NICU visits, and the first three weeks home getting used to these sweet newborns, I have to admit I actually felt free. This may have partially contributed to the stupidity of not just doing what I needed to and getting the hell back home! So here was my day in a nutshell. I awoke at 7:53 am which was just the right time to hear the bus pulling away from the stop. The sounds of SpongeBob SquarePants is blaring from a TV downstairs. I go downstairs and find my children lounging in their PJ's as if it were a Saturday or something. You would think I completely insulted them by letting them know that they had just missed the bus and needed to return upstairs to get dressed. The morning was not without yelling and crying and that was just from me :) As soon as I got into the car the low gas indicator dinged and we said family prayer as we drove with Stone announcing to the car "that only Mommy didn't have to close her eyes because she was driving and might kill us if she closes her eyes."We finally made it to school and dropped Phoenix off and then headed off to get gas. While filling up the gas tank I had two minutes to realize I hadn't eaten and I was apparently starving. I got into the car looked at the clock and had 15 minutes to make a 25 minute drive to the Doctors office. I still stopped at McDonalds with the justification that someone has to feed the babies and if I don't eat, neither do they. So I made it to the doctors office a bit late, but hauling two infant car seats seems to bring out the kindness or pity in the secretaries and they allowed me to see the doctor anyhow. I had an hour and a half to burn between appointments and I didn't have enough time to get Stone back to school and then make it to the appointment so Stone became my road dog for the day. I love the extra time to spend with him! Mitchell had mentioned prior that he would like me to bring the twins to his job so that he could show them off and I decided that as long as I was out and had some time to burn I would take them all to see Daddy. Mitchell was gracious and met me in the parking lot to help carry the two babies their car seats and diaper bag into the building. After much time of being goo'd and gaa'd at we left with no time to make it to the hospital. Fifteen minutes later we made it to the hospital and Stone and I were on our own for all the carrying. Stone carried the diaper bag and I carried the twins from the back of the parking lot and across the entire hospital longways until we finally found the Ultrasound place. I would like to Sidebar the fact that I cannot go anywhere without many, many people stopping me to look and ask questions about the twins. As most of you know I am the queen of anti-social with people I don't know and this has so thrown me for a loop. I am outwardly gracious, but I believe my facial expressions are around the idea of "do I know you?" I can tell that this "Stranger Questioning" is going to get really old really quickly and Pissy Chrissy may have to make her infamous debut. I fear for them....really I do! Anyhow...I make my way back to the snotty secretary at the Ultrasound unit at the Hospital who was less than impressed with my mile and a half jaunt to get to her. She nastily informed me that according to her records I had no appointment. After listening to all her snide questions (she assumed I made no appointment and just showed up for the fun of it apparently) I made her call up to the NICU because they were the ones who supposedly made this appointment but to no avail I picked up my damn heavy children and left. Stone and I made our ways to the front of the building where I sat down the carseats out of exhaustion and I went to open my mouth and a really nice hospital worker at the front said "I will call the complimentary shuttle" I said "thanks, you read my mind". I so wanted to go home, but I knew that I couldn't take this opportunity to have an extra set of hands for granted, so off we went to Costco. One over sized cart full of babies which Stone drove and One for me to load up on groceries. We again had about 20 people ask about them one hagily woman wanted to know why I had newborns out so early. I grimaced as I answered that they were two and a half months old, but thanked her for the concern anyhow. Stone and I waited in line for 15 minutes while the babies were beginning to get testy. After checking out and loading up the car we were finally headed home. The babies now crying had a 25 minute car ride home and Stone wanted to know were the McDonalds lunch that I had promised was. Mind you, we had just spent $265 on groceries. I told him that he needed to be patient with me, that the babies had to be fed, and Phoenix was going to be getting off the bus soon. We made it home. I fed the babies and Phoenix came home. We then unpacked the car full of Costco reloaded everyone in the car and off we went for $1.99 Happy Meal Friday. I got food for Mitchell and I at Arby's. When we got home, Daddy soon followed, we ate and Mitchell (thank goodness) started the bedtime routine. My muscles ache. My back is killing me. I am so tired I think I might drop. But it is so much better than being on bed rest in the hospital and besides I don't need any weights when I'm hauling them around all day. The baby weight should be falling off any day now if I keep up this routine. I would cry but I am choosing to count my blessings :) Zoloft anyone?...lol

10 reasons why I love my man

I saw a great idea on a friend's blog the other day and when Mitchell asked when I was going to write about him I decided I would tweak it a bit but steal it non the less. My sarcastic side would also like to note that Mitchell must be a little off his rocker to want to know when I was going to write about him. For all he knows this blog entry (depending on the day) could have been titled: 10 reasons to make my man disappear. But thanks to my brother's blog today I am feeling grateful. So I will begin...

1. He made my dream of being a stay at home mom come true. He goes to work everyday and works his butt off to ensure the stability of his family.

2. Ten years, five children and many yo-yo pounds later he still thinks I'm the sexiest woman alive.

3. He does all the yard work. Did I mention I hate yard work!

4. He treats my girls like the princess's that they are and because of that they will become queens.

5. He plays games and is okay with my competitive need to beat his butt at everything.

6. He doesn't let me bully him around even though I sometimes try.

7. He calls me "Candy Girl" and I love it because its so true.

8. He sits next to me and watches TV after the kids go to bed.

9. He goes with me to Rehoboth beach on our every so many years vacation, with my entire crazy family for a whole week. He sits on the beach all day every day. He goes to the same restaurants over and over. He spends every night on the boardwalk benches (facing the people of course) Just because its my favorite thing to do, not necessarily because he enjoys it.

10. He didn't join the church until he was ready and when he was he baptized our son, gave me sacrament in the hospital, and helps me keep the kids in line during sacrament meeting.

Exposed

Needless to say, this post pregnancy process has been much different than my three prior. Usually I can sit indiscriminately in a chair and quietly breast feed my child with little curiosity (after day three) from my other children. This time has been a very different experience! While the twins were in the NICU I needed to pump 20 minutes every two hours. Then when they came home they were still very small and inexperienced nursers. Which meant a 10 minute feeding turned into a 30 minute feeding each and then I needed to pump immediately after to keep my milk supply up because they still were not good at it. All of this meant Mom was exposed the majority of the last two months. With all this in mind, my children have become, interested in...Well...I will just give you examples (there were more than a few examples, but some, I have been prohibited from sharing). Phoenix was squeezing and poking at herself while asking why she didn't look like Mommy even though she was a girl and why she couldn't get the milk to come out. Avery was found, with all the pumping equipment trying to pump (she wasn't the first child to try either) while she yelled "I got milk! See Mommy I got milk!" (picture to follow as soon as I get around to downloading it). To this point, the question may become have I permanently damaged my obviously sponge like children who looked on all summer while Mommy with machine like determination took care of the daunting task of making sure my two youngest were fed? Some may say definitely! but as for me I am leaning towards the more positive of the two which is that I have beautifully curious children who want nothing more than to be like their Mom and I think I am okay with that!

New Blogger - New Babies

So...What exactly would a recent mother of preemie twins be starting a blog you ask? I guess I have always been a glutton for punishment and this is no exception. I must confess the reason for the madness is the utter enjoyment I have received from reading other peoples blogs and actually being able to see pictures and hear their personality's coming through. For that reason I decided to return the favor and share the love! Aren't you guys lucky. Let's just hope I am able to update more than twice a year. This translated into Chris means as long as this remains enjoyable to me you will see postings and the minute I get bored or way stressed out I will disappear. But all those who know and love me are aware that I always return just as beautiful as before!