I have always been very sensitive to "others" hardships whatever they may be. My Patriarchal Blessing states that I have been given " the ability far beyond those that are normally found, that you may feel, understand, and help those who are in need." I believe this is the reason that I become physically upset and many times emotionally changed based simply upon other's life's stories. I usually don't even have to experience an event to understand the magnitude and emotions contained therein. Which is why I have and (since childhood) have always had...a very difficult time with documentaries of things such as prisoner of war camps, slavery, genocide and other accounts of horrific behavior by groups of people who feel self justified in hatred. That being said...I thought that I had felt every disgusting emotion contained within slavery until I found myself watching another documentary after the birth of my first child and was awakened to a whole new realization. This was no longer something that happened to "another" group of people, which granted was horrible and sad in it's own right, but this was now something which happened indirectly to my husband and my children and now the feeling moved from an understanding of events and compassion to a fullness of true emotional understanding and a deep sense of mourning. As I looked at my newborn son and my beautiful husband, I had known that it was my life's goal to protect and love them but to think that a few centuries prior those beautiful beings, so blessed in my life, had they happened to be born at a different time they would have been mistreated, emotionally abused and scared beyond my wildest dreams.
The Today Show flashed quick 1 to 2 minute stories of individuals who had come to The Mall to see history being made this day in this great nation. I was reminded of the scripture D&C 136:32 " Let him that is ignorant learn wisdom by humbling himself and calling upon the Lord his God, that his eyes may be opened that he may see, and his ears opened that he may hear " I was again brought back to that day when my eyes had been opened and am humbled again as I share my sweet story of them being opened again.
As a lilly white, red-haired, blue eyed, girl growing up in a upper to middle class area of a Washington DC suburb. I never once questioned that I or any other of my other friends (whatever color they might have been) could be anything that we wanted to be. Nor did I ever question that my children could have been anything that they wanted to be...until today!
I watched on the TV this morning a black woman with the names of all of her ancestors attached to her coat as she explained that although they had not lived to see this day, that they were indeed there in spirit and also in body as she, being their direct descendant, had lived to see this day. She stood there not only representing herself but for all those parents, grandparents and great-grandparents who were not able to stand for themselves and participate in this great day.
I believe many times we forget how fresh the scars of racism are. My husband who was born in 1968 was thrown bottles at by adult men in Elementary School, as he rode his bike to pick up his brother from school, and they yelled "Nigger Boy, Go Home!" He was told in High School by his Guidance Counselor to "forget college and get a job" simply because he was an African American child as his grades certainly showed college WAS an option! There are many, many other stories but I am not sure if he would appreciate the two that I did shared...my point is I had seen many forms of discrimination prior to meeting and marring my husband but I was shocked to hear the sheer amount and cruelty of his stories and most times by those in position of supposed authority and trust. The knowledge that though I had never once doubted I could be anything I wanted to be. He on the other hand, continuously doubted that he could be what he wanted to be and still struggles with the fact that even though he worked so hard and earned everything he has...that somehow he doesn't deserve or is not worthy of that which he has. That is directly a product of environment.
So...I will watch today as our President Elect becomes the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama...a black man...and I will not only believe I will KNOW that my children can be whatever they dream of becoming and I will, I am sure, continue to shed tears as I also know that my children will face less pain than did their father with regards to this matter and Mitchell faced less pain than did his father and so forth.
Hope and Faith...with a day that seems to resemble the hearts of the children turning to their fathers.
It is a good day!
9 comments:
Though blatant racism still exists in its rarest form. It is not the "norm" in our society. We live in a day where most people are more politically correct about their racism and quite frankly would be abhauled by the fact that their "ignorance" with regards to the subject and most times their all too often diarrhea of the mouth would EVER be considered anything but being comfortable talking about race with a woman who is married to a black man and has black children. Yet I find it funny how views are immediately hushed and never viewed in front of my husband...out of fear? I find it funny that upon entering most small boutique like stores alone or with my white friends I am left to my own devices but damn if I walk in with Mitchell, we are immediately watched, eventually trailed, and nervously asked if we needed anything...fear? I find it funny that people assume that so many blacks are ahead in business based upon Equal Equality but I wonder how many of those people of color's backgrounds, GPA's, activities, etc. were we privy to prior to making that determination...(unless of course you work for the school's admissions and records department or the hiring companies HR department)...fear or ego? I also would ask how many received the thousands of "Obama" jokes the day after the election...all which had to do with race. The 20-30 which people were "comfortable" enough to send to me all centered around one topic and let's guess what that topic was...oh yes...Race! So to say that racism is no longer alive with most people is so, so untrue. It has just morphed into a more socially acceptable form and quite frankly that form scares me even more because at least back in the day of bottle throwing and name calling at least you knew who the enemy was!
On the money Ms. Chris.
I agree - it used to be very black and white - pun intended. Now there is a very fuzzy grey area where people can be so friendly and seemingly accepting and then go home and say the N word and make jokes like it is no big deal. I have to say this is where the majority of my hatred of racism started. Not through seeing bottles thrown, but in the homes of people and family I love, making comments that I suppose somehow fed their egos.
I have seen racism both ways, and I purposefully go out of my way to look people in the eye - yes even strangers sometimes :-) - so they can hopefully feel my spirit and love and admiration of all men and women. I am certain I would have been one of those helping and hiding slaves. All because of color? How does that make sense to anyone with a brain.
Although Barack does not share my exact political views, I could not help but get choked up at the significance of such an event as today. This is a moment to be forever remembered. I am so glad to know you and your family and read your inner thoughts! Oh and for the record DC GIRLS RULE LOL :-)
And I have just been inspired to blog about one of my favorite quotes.
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
-Jimi Hendrix
Just had to add that.
:) I so love you Lorien...Mitchell and I bet on if anyone would touch this issue with a ten foot pole...you are sooo MY GIRL!
Oh by the way...I just re-read the above and I am sure you are all aware that I meant affirmitive action as I do not believe there is any such program out there such as Equal Equality :)
After speaking to my dear friend for two hours...I have apparently dug deep enough to realize a few things.
Yesterday was NOT about racism and the fact that I was so easily drawn to anger about a few naive comments solidifies my original feelings of the day. Yesterday was about something which transcended race indeed...as I watched the TV there was not one person being interviewed who was not speaking of ancestors and future generations. It was the closest testimony from the Spirit I have ever received outside of the walls of the temple...it is the reason that I quoted the scripture that I did...spiritual things must be heard spiritually and seen with spiritually eyes. If not done so it is as casting pearls before swine.
I saw millions of people gathering on The Mall yesterday in an attempt to be a part of history to which their parents, grandparents, children and grandchildren will watch and be affected wherever they may be.
It is also the reason we as individuals gather in temples.
That is what I saw yesterday...as I watched this testimony of struggle and triumph born. It was not a celebration of one man who happened to be black.
It was the celebration of individual families who had suffered such persecutions, crossed the plains and buried husbands and babies along the way and then when they reached the destination were told, "This is the place"
That day, I am sure the pioneers were grateful for Brigham Young yet their individual triumph most likely came from the fact that they had reached the idea of freedom (or equality) promised them. I am sure as they walked their finial steps into the Valley their hearts and minds were on the persecutions suffered, the personal struggles, lives of loved ones lost and the new found hope and faith that this "promised" destination of freedom would mean to their future and that of their posterity. It truly was a day for celebration of the mind, body and spirit.
As was yesterday, whether you voted the Obama ticket or not.
Wow - you're right Chris! That is a tough issue to deal with and talk about! Very well said! You never cease to amaze me!
So here it goes. I was excited for the significance of the day. It in itself was an achievment of enormous proportions. What ended the beauty of it is that some people still can't just enjoy the day without making the White person a symbol of everything that is wrong with this country. Had that Reverend not ruined the day with his mean words, I would have been able to join in with your feelings. Race is still an issue, I have never felt is was hidden. Being in school I read and talk about it in every class. Every paper I write requires a section on multicultural affects and issues. However, when people don't agree they tend to just put their opinions under the rug and seethe quietly about their hurt. I'm not afraid to talk to Mitchell, if he were around when these conversations were brought up I would be very intrested in his opinion because he has lived it. We would all be more educated if he shared his awful encounters with hatered with us. But it is personal and I would never presume that I deserve to have that shared with me by him. I guess my other issue is that I adore Collen Powell and I thought Condaleza Rice (sp) were amazing figures. We have black senators, governors, and representatives. There are not equal numbers yet but they have achieved great positions. Where was all the praise for them? At least I know they are American citizen with ancestors that did face the brutality of slavery and racism. I can not understand anyone elses life and I don't pretend that I can. However, if as friends we can not have meaningful discussions about important topics, unless we all agree and there is no fear of hurt feelings, then I don't know who could. The only way to educate is by learning from each other, whether we like what we hear or not.
Amy~ I would have to say that what makes our (yours and mine) discussions of race different and therefore never hurtful is that you come to the table with your strong opinions in one hand and your desire to hear another’s point of veiw in the other. You seem to listen without viewing your preconceived notions as fact and then use debate/discussion to work out the kinks. You are caring in your questions, with an honest desire to question or solidify your own views. I love that~! It is NOT my desire to change anyone’s opinions as everyone is entitled to their own, just that we may understand where the other is coming from.
Now about Reverend Suessical, as Mitchell and I have been calling him for days now...Personally the man started out the "prayer" with rhyme and spoke to heaven only knows who for 20 minutes, but it certainly wasn’t Heavenly Father! In my view, he played to the masses and then ended with his craziness "that the yellow man may be mellow, that the red man may get ahead, that the white man may get it right" He was a joke well before he started his Suessical ways on the white man...I guess that is why I didn’t take offence.
And with regards to other high ranking black figures (I am not even attempting to spell Mrs. Rice's first name...props to you for doing such) in Government I do believe that there was and is pride in those offices yet the President of the United States is the epitome of what you can achieve in this country. Even the littlest children will say "I want to be the President of the United States" as they assume it is the job with ultimate power and prestige. I have never heard any child say they wanted to grow up and be Secretary of State or Joint Chief of Staff. Though any parent would be proud of their child for becoming such.
But then again...I am not black…it is just me watching, speaking to Mitchell, and my opinion...be it wrong or right.
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